To be or not to be, happy !

This is very well a follow-up post on my previous post about happiness. I guess its becoming my habit to write follow-up posts.


This time as well it is triggered by someone’s status message about happiness. It said “Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket”. I am a firm believer of that. Those of you who know me well would be able to easily recognize that I do stupid, crazy things just because I wanted to do it that way and didn't want to change it for someone else. My lunch-mates know how much I trouble them not to have food in Andhra mess near the office.


Suddenly I see myself not very happy with the way things are going on. The difference is due to my job. I was very happy about my work as a developer, no silly mistakes, in fact very few mistakes. But in Technical Assurance in simple words donkey-work I’m not yet confident. It is about getting work done from someone you don’t even know and in a much higher position than you.


I have now got very high respect for all those secretaries who plan the meetings for their superiors so well. I see that it is complex and takes longer time to get a meeting arranged than the actual work that is decided to be done in that meeting.


With people of different cultures, the style of work, the way they use the infrastructure, even the simplest thing becomes very complicated. At the end of the day if I get the meeting arranged and got the information and documented it, that is a good day at work. When that doesn't happen, its a total mess. So I tend to kind of feel bad about not getting it done, simply put “not happy” about it.


Even though I know that I couldn’t have done much about it I get to feel unhappy. Does this mean that I have my happiness based on someone else? Literally, yes. Actually, not quite.


Still the difference can be made by accepting that its not my fault and letting it go. A typical mind immediately accepts “its not your fault” and have seen it many times with myself in the earlier times. I personally don’t like “its not my fault”. And letting it go is the most difficult for me. I tend to think “What better could have been done?”. But I think that is where finding room for improvement makes us unhappy. I still can’t decide staying unhappy is right or not in this case.


I remember someone saying “the food that tastes very good and giving you pleasure when its on your tongue is going to spoil your body most of the times”. Similarly if we are happy at work for a long time, we are going to be in a major trouble sooner or later. Anyway, I believe I have spent enough time in this world to understand that all days aren't sunny days.


Let me see, I hope that in the near future I will be happy about what I’m doing again. For those of you who stay in your comfort zone for a long time, please try to get out of it as early as possible.


Oh yeah, I still remember “No one wants advice, only corroboration”.

Happiness

Today, I read a status message of one of my friends which said “Being happy is not a matter of destiny. It is a matter of options.”. I had commented on it with “I think its more about knowing what exactly we want. If we don't know that, we can't always choose right from the options available, can we?”. Thinking a little deeper about it, I see myself having a contradicting idea as well. I think the idea of “what we want” continuously changes. Something we like today may not be the same tomorrow. So getting what we want always is too difficult, almost impossible. But even if we get infinitely lucky to get everything we want, will we be happy? I don’t think we will. After all, as Virumandi said, “சந்தோசம்னா என்னனு அத அனுபவிக்கேல மனுசனுக்குத் தெரியுறதில்ல, அது இல்லாமப் போகுது பாருங்க, அப்பதேன் !” (one doesn’t realize what is happiness when they experience it, they do only when it is not there). I too believe that it is the absence of happiness that makes us celebrate it when it is present. It's just not a matter of options. Its about the cycle. Life will be boring if we are always happy and its not worth it if we always sad !


If you want to watch happiness, watch this !
http://youtube.com/watch?v=m3w8Ldb4oSc

Pray for me !

My travel to Paris in 2008 was quite a quiet one, not much work, planned well, had enough help and careful. But this time it was just the opposite. I still remember I wasn’t carrying a pen that time and it was really embarrassing looking for a pen. I sort of even decided to remember to carry a pen the next time I travel. You already knew, I didn’t take the pen this time as well. It is a well known truth that we shouldn’t make decisions when we are mad and it held well for me.


Remembering the last time I missed my flight to Chennai due to starting late, I decided to start as early as possible. For the domestic flight that starts at 21:40 from Bangalore to Mumbai, I had booked the cab at 16:30.


I left from the room at 16:40 along with Anandhan and UVK who accompanied me till the gate. The cab driver played on the way some real nice Raja songs.


Me: அருமையான பாட்டு, கேட்டு வருஷக் கணக்காயிடுச்சு (nice song, haven’t heard in ages)
Driver: எப்பவுமே நம்ப வண்டில ஓடி ட்டு தான் இருக்கும், அப்பப்போ வாங்க... எங்க ஸார் போறீங்க? (played daily in this vehicle, come once in a while, btw where are you going?)
Me: லண்டன் (London)
Driver: எவ்வளவு நாள் ஸார்? (for how long?)
Me: 2 மாசம் (2 months)
Driver: அங்க ஜெர்கின்லாம் நல்லா இருக்குமாமே ஸார், ஒண்ணு வாங்கிட்டு வாங்க மறக்காம.. (I heard jerkins will be really good, dont forget to get one sir)
Me: அய்யய்யோ, ஜெர்கின மறந்துட்டேன், வண்டிய திருப்புங்க.. (oops..I just forgot my jerkin at home, please turn back..)


I have always found it difficult to easily finish things those aren’t started well. So, I kind of felt the whole trip could go messy. And it was. When we are not confident in some thing, we mess it by trying to be over-cautious. 


It started with where we should go thro’ the immigration process. Even though I was sure that we’ll have to go thro immigration in international departure, I went to an Air India representative at the airport counter.


Me: Excuse me, I need some info. I’m travelling to London thro’ Mumbai via Air India. Do we     have to go thro’ immigration process here or in Mumbai?


Rep: Can I see your ticket, sir?


Me: Its here.


Rep: Sir, you are late for your flight. Boarding is about to start. Please get your boarding card now. You can go to counter no 41, 42 and 43.


Me: But the ticket says 21:40 is departure time.


Rep: Sir, the ticket says wrong time. Must be something wrong with the travel agency.


Me: How about the flight from Mumbai? Is that at least correct?


Rep: Oh, sorry sir. I thought you are going thro’ AI621. Your flight IC108 actually starts at 21:40 only sir.


Me: How about the check-in baggage?  Can I check-in for London directly?


Rep: You will have to collect your luggage and re-check-in in Mumbai. There is no direct check-in to London.


But the person who issued the boarding pass peacefully issued a direct check-in to London. Probably, the rep I had been contacting requires re-training. We got the boarding pass with the gate no. mentioned as 01. Gate 01 as it implies was the first gate and was in the left most corner. The TV was just there in which the T20 between India and South Africa was being telecast. It was 21:35 and the boarding hasn’t started in Gate 01. There were not even Air India staff. When I was wondering what the problem is, a security person approached me.


Security: Sir, are you travelling to Mumbai in IC108?


Me: Yes, waiting for the boarding to start.


Security: Sir, the boarding is almost over. They have just given the final call and waiting for you only sir.


Me: But the boarding pass says its Gate 01.


Security: Sorry sir, it has been moved to Gate 09.


I was supposed to spend 3 hours in transit in Mumbai. But I was late to board the flight. All the time was eaten in the check-in counter and the immigration queue. The passenger before me in the check-in counter was a student. The Air India rep in the counter had a tough time with the system to give him the boarding pass. She had to ask him to wait to clear the queue.


A very similar situation happened in the immigration queue as well. There was an immigration queue manager(?) who will make sure there will be 2 passengers per counter, one at it and the other behind. She asked me to go to counter 26 even though I didn’t want to since 27 was fast-moving and was about to be free. In 26, I was standing behind a person who had to finally say “கேள்வி கேக்குறது ரொம்ப ஈஸி மாமா, பதில் சொல்லிப் பாருங்க, எவ்வளவு கஷ்டம்னு தெரியும்..”(questioning is very easy, you will the difficulty only when you answer) to get his stamp.


I was quite relieved when the person before me didn’t hog during the security check. But my fate was at its worst, the moment I lifted my hands for frisking, the metal detector ran low battery and stopped working. Even the spare he had didn’t work. Finally he had to borrow one from the nearby guard to let me through. I was late for the flight by 10 minutes. But fortunately, the flight itself was late by half an hour.


If there was anything good it was the in-flight experience. I had a real good food and watched several movies Kandasamy, “The Good, The Bad, The Ugly” and a classic hindi cinema Gumrah. The songs' lyrics were really nice in Gumrah, at least the translated were good.


The immigration officer in London was very nice, she asked only simple questions and answered those questions herself. But she made me repeat “put the index finger-take it out” sequence for 3 times before telling me even that machine is not working fine. The 4th attempt succeeded and I was through.


I hope to have a smoother life onwards. But the first-day experience at work seems to guarantee continued struggle.


Pray for me !

B.Lit

This could well be considered as a follow-up to my previous post,  though a bit distant in time. As you all know, I have been longing to meet the kid and when he finally came to India, I couldn't be there to receive him since I was on my way to catch a flight to London from Mumbai. This travel to UK, even though just a normal process thousands of people go through everyday, it wasn't in fact a very smooth trip for me. Anyway, that experience deserves a separate post and those who want to know need to wait for some more time.


I was in Mumbai, on my way to the international terminal from the domestic, when my sister-in-law landed in the Coimbatore airport. We had a short fond chat as usual. I started with the usual how-was-your-journey questions and after the formalities I asked her "What have you brought from Australia for your brother-in-law?" looking to tease her for not taking any gifts, yeah I know she wouldn't have bought anything special for me since her trip was planned in very short time. But she responded with "புள்ளையக் கொண்டு வந்துருக்கேன் அங்கேர்ந்து, அத விட உங்களுக்கென்ன வேணும்?". 


I think only now she deserves that B.Lit degree she got years ago.


Sorry guys, those who don't read and/or understand Tamil, its time for you to look for help.